A poet!

He could bind all in his words,
He could; the rising sun,
The lush green trees,
Birds humming their rhyme; everything.
He tries hard to sketch himself,
In some lines, some words.
But he fails and remains helpless.
Would he? Or wouldn’t he?
Who knows? Not even him.

He walks and walks the longer miles,
He sings and sings his lines out of rhyme,
He wonders and wonders some more,
In the theater of his mind,
Sense, he thinks makes or breaks,
Longing for it, forever.
Everything he makes,
Remains out of its own realms,
Wonder, wonder some more,
For a poet, he always should.

It’s been lying idle for a while now.

I cannot help but wonder why?

Its spring again;
It’s beautiful now;
Distracted by, the colours and the smell.

The spring must too end someday;
Winters! would return.

Is it then, you wait to walk again?
The roads once crossed.
You would wait that long ‘.’ ‘?’

A question?

The answer? .................................................

Triggers of numbers.

A man needs to let go of 'numbers', to realise the first step to peace. His desire to fittingly 'reply'. he should quench his thirst to get drunk on it. He fights, fights the way he should.
He needs to fight no one, except for himself. He needs to reply to no one except himself. Realise my man! for your self depends on you.
His appearance, appears to be clean. His 'will to survive', mocking his life. He desires, for he should for more.
His appearance, flawed, instantly aw....'ed, his appearance is none but him. His survival, surviving himself..... His desires, Desiring himself.

Look for it, on the surface. For you are looking for it, way to deep.

The story, then i wrote......

and then the journey begins... the travellers have met, to walk beyond now. the walk, on a vacant sky.
there she stood,a wounded butterfly! his ego grown mamoth, he rode a dying horse. on a vacant sky.
The vacant sky, a trillion galaxies within....

The unicorn...

The unicorn rose again, to fly on his milky white wings. ‘Birds of prey’ carpeted his way as he floated through the knighted sky. The stars he wondered looked brighter that he had ever seen them. Each dot marked its own territory on the black charred vacant sky. He felt a new life running through his veins. He flew again after a long and trying hide inside.

He spread his wings wide and beyond,
The first flutter, again, intoxicating, accelerating,
He touched life that night, he touched love,
The life within burnt like a knight’s final burst to survive,

He rose slowly; he was scared to fail his desires,
He wanted to fly, yet reserved about the pleasures,
He believed love had buried itself and departed,
To his surprise, it never was, it never would.

Go fly again, my oblivious unicorn!

Medekare revisited!

Ek machis ki dibiya mein mai.

Meelon bichey saapon par,

Sarakta sa, behta sa, chala jata tha,

Kuch masti mein, haathon se modi sadkein,

Parbat ke chehrey par muskurahat si rakhee thee,

Ek ek karkey oos ke panno ko hataya meiney,

Aur apney hi hathon se apna haath chudaya meiney,

Har koney har modh par bikhra sa who yauvan,

jaisey ghoonghat mein saji koi naye naveli shringaree dulhan,

Sharma rahe ho apney preetam ke intezar mein,

Un sunehri belon pe bandhee who teetar ki awaaz,

subah mere kano par dastak dekar jagaya usney mujhko,

Kehney laga, jao kho jao mere priyatam ke aalingan mein.

Phir se Kuch door tak chala tha mein unhee sadkon par,

Kuch harey se dooyein aur ek plastic ki botal ke saath.

Tu hi mera naam!

Kuch arz hai… kaheen bacha thoda karz hai,
Chukana hai karkey thoda thoda,
Janta hoon mein mera khud hona,
Aur hokar bhi na hona, ehsaas yeah khudgarz hai.

Kuch likhawati banawati baton se,
Kuch bantee simtee ahton se,
Ehsaas mein sarey pirota hoon,
Teri bandage mein banjarey sa mein khota hoon.

Hawaon mein ghultee se kushboo ki tarah,
Tera ehsaas mere maula,
mujhmein kaheen ghulta hai,
jadogar sa hai tu,
tera karishma gahde-ghade yoheen mujhpar khulta hai.

Kya gaoon teri tareef mein sadka?
Kya bataon rubaab teri had ka?
Tu allah hai, tu mula hai, tu Krishna, tu raam hai,
Hai tu nanak aur yesu bhi, unhee ke jaisa tu hi toh mera naam hai.

The ageless, aging lover....

Painted on the canvas,
Deep scared, violet lover,
Awaits his destiny,
Hiding beneath,
A doubted, voided cover.

Yet those smiles of ambiguity,
Render his face with an artificial happiness,
He scratches his soul,
Hard enough to scar the healing wounds.

He,
Who ought to find his self,
He,
Who needs to rediscover,
He,
Who awaits his destiny,
He,
The ageless, aging lover.

P.S- last few days i have seen a very close friend go through some turmoils that only i have been able to just scratch off the surface. He's begining to endure a quest. He's begining to unlearn, He's begining to learn again. This is my dedication to him. The ageless, aging lover! Chirag

meri fariyaad****

khuda mere mujhko kuch sila dey,
zarra hoon tera muujhko khud mein mila ley,
jooth hoon mein tera tu sach mujhko bana dey,
kadwaahat hoon teri, mithaas jaisa kuch bana dey.

terii saanson ko peeta hoon,
saaya hoon tera tujhmein hi jeeta hoon,
ghoont sa tu kuch mujhko bana dey,
suroor yeah sara tu mujhko pila dey.

bas baksh dey har uss baashindey ko,
jo niklaa hai tujhko mananey,
barkat kar apney sadkeyki,
mujhee se mujhko mila dey!

**** title credits: Sana Waheed
A recent friend whom i found through another friend. I thank her!!! both of them.

unquestioned affection!

last night was one of the most beautiful nights of my life. A friend gifted me with this uncomparable gift of heartfelt smiles wrapped in words (http://halime0607.blogspot.com/2008/07/for-special-person-in-my-life.html)
Halime shansheel. Her love for india is uncomparable to even the bygone freedom fighters that might have existed in this nation. Her passion and obession for india astonishes and reconfirms my faith that india ineed is heaven on earth. Shes from turkey and a huge or rather a humungous fan of 'vivek oberoi'. psst...! tell u a secret she came down to india for him. She met him at shoot of "misson istambul" in istambul, now u see the connection? nd yet again psst...! she also stars in the movie in a camio role as viveks wife. who's..............!!! ok i will not spoil the fun of the movie of the people who are reading this. So I am a 'star's friend'! :P

A star, yes she is. A star shining far away in the sky, glowing smiling in the dark. Her soul is free. She would find her peace sooner that later. Her innocence is captive. You see her dancing to bollywood numbers... u would sweat! its gets hot in there! :) she always complained that i never went with her for even one of those. Gosh! i was saved afterall... :)

well not that all she has written about me is true. Since she has written it I really could not out rightly reject that too! So i shall keep quite. Just the gesture of writing so heartfelt and so beautiful almost brought me to tears. but then i remebered 'tough guys don't cry'.. hehehhe! so i didn't.

for you my dear,
you shall always be close to my heart,
i shall always admire you for who you are,
i shall miss you too,
but i know, that you would come back too! :)

koi boley raam raam! koi khudae! (english translation/meaning)

http://www.nanaksarthath.co.uk/audio/ManinderSingh/2006-02-17/01%20-%20koee%20bolai%20raam%20raam%20koee%20khudhaae.mp3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayDuKOiRvWw
(please listen to any of these links first before starting to read first... )

Koi bole raam raam,
Koi khudaey,
Koi seva gusaeeyan,
Koi allaeh.

Kaaran karan, kareen,
Kirpa thaarn raheen.

Koi nahavey teerath
Koi hajj jaye,
Koi karey pooja,
Koi sir niwaye.
Koi bole raam raam,
Koi khudaey,
Koi sevagu saeeyan,
Koi allaeh.

Koi kahey turk,
Koi kahey hindu,
Koi banchey bisht,
Koi sur gind.
Koi bole raam raam,
Koi khudaey,
Koi sevagu saeeyan,
Koi allaeh.

Koi padey ved,
Koi kateb,
Koi odeh neel,
Koi safedh.
Koi bole raam raam,
Koi khudaey,
Koi sevagu saeeyan,
Koi allaeh.

Koh nanak,
Jin Hukam pachataa,
Jin Prabh sahib ka,
Tin bhed jaata.

Kaaran karan kareen,
Kirpa thaarn raheen.

English translation:

Some chant “raam raam”,
Some chant “khuda”
Some “sevagu saeeyan”
Some “allah”

Oh! The source of reason, the doer,
Always bless me

Some have dips at “teerath”
Some go for “hajj”
Some indulge in “pooja”
Some bow their heads.
For,
Some chant “raam raam”,
Some chant “khuda”
Some “sevagu saeeyan”
Some “allah”

Some are called Turkish,
Some are called Hindu’s,
Some talk of going to heel,
Some search the heaven.
For ,
Some chant “raam raam”,
Some chant “khuda”
Some “sevagu saeeyan”
Some “allah”

Some read “veda’s”,
Some read “books”
Some covert themselves in “blue”
Some covert the white,
For,
Some chant “raam raam”,
Some chant “khuda”
Some “sevagu saeeyan”
Some “allah”

Says Nanak,
One who acknowledges the “word”,
Would of the lord,
Know the secret.

Oh! The source of reason, the doer,
Always bless me

Meaning:

People call the lord by different names. Ram, Khuda, Krishna or Allah. The almighty, the doer and the source of the reason. Always keep the blessings upon us. Some people take a dip in holy waters, some go for Hajj (the sacred journey a muslim is suppose to take in his lifetime). People have different identities of being muslims, hindus. They talk of going to heaven and hell. People read “VEDA’s” (hindu scriptures) ,Books. They covert dresses that are blue or white. To purify themselves. Nanak (first guru of Sikh’s) says, that the only fact is that the one who recognizes the truth of the "word" would realize the true Almighty!

I heard this hyme when i was a kid. Last nite this hyme came to my mind out of nowhere, hence I heard it first thing in the morning. It has been a really peacefull day! :) truthfully saying i understood the meaning today. Its true with age you understand alot of things. listen to it. even if you don't get the words, you still would feel very peaceful. I tried translating the words for all my friends. Hope you all would appricite this hyme! God bless you all! :)

Marked speaking eyes!

bestowed,
marked by the symbol,
of whitened poetic time,
she gazed back at the 'eye'.
Straight!

a story,
"un-narrated"!
i peeped in honestly,
her resemblance to serenity,
her story,
i tried figuring,
figured?

but instillations are statics,
the dynamics, motionless,
yet those loud sounds i heard.

Ya khuda!

Ya khuda,
tu mujhsey,
Mein tujhsey,
Kyon khud se?
Hoon juda.
Dey hateli,
Baandh sahaara,
Dekh doobara,
Khada banda.
Mangey sahaara.
Rahem, rahem.
Aab Baksh,
mere karam.
Aab baksh,
Meri khata,
Aab to dikha,
Koi adaa.
Tu hai. Haan hai.
Yeah ehsaas kara.

Tu junoon,
Tu sukoon,
Tu kudrat,
Tu hasrat,
Tu nahee juda,
Tu mukammal mere khuda.

P.S- I couldn't translate this piece, i apologies to my friends. But this is more on the spiritual spectrum. Sung in the praise of the lord. I beg him to not separate himself from my existence and also show me the signs of his existence. I beg him to give his hand to save me. i beg him for pitty and forgiveness. He becomes passion, peace, nature, desire for my existence.

A gift from me to you all..... :)

I have fallen in love with this song!
go ahead you all
fall..............!!!!

P.S- if u dun smile listenin to this song....
u shud immidiately rush to a doctor.
sumfin is wrong wid u.. for sure! :) :) :)

Serenity benith her misty embrace

Some journeys take us to places that one had imagined only in vivid imaginations. The beauty so surreal that it could melt away time. I stood there by its corner and adored the mystique's of the marvel called nature. It was like an staged magical performance which began the moment I stepped beyond the doors of my apprehensions. Opened it arms to embrace me within itself, so did she. It was warm within her misty embrace.



She asked me to walk a few more miles before i decide to lay my head down. She knew i was falling in love with her every moment, every walking step. She pampered me with gentle blowing winds and gave me the warmth of greens to sooth my eyes, in turn my soul. Like a hopelessly involved lover I kept gaping at the magnanimity of her charms.



few steps beyond i found a place where peace was instilled in every corner of every second that passed by me. I don't know if it was a Divine intervention or was it something else. I just wanted to be, be forever, may be, just be! those few moments of peace will be with me for this life time.



like the charmer she is. She wooed me with her colors, which she flashed to me, but subtly. She flirted with my senses whenever she could hold me. She held me intact, with all my attention to her, all the time. She worked her spell on me. I let her.


She reminded me to cleanse myself with its love. pouring upon me from heavens up above, when i stood right below its shower. The cold of the water, left me breathless for few second. But those seconds I forgot all pain, happiness, sadness, smiles that i ever had. I was just. I was me.



She told me not all her men were as bad as I thought they were. They created beauty in the ways they could express themselves. They created stone structures so beautiful and divine that She couldn't resist but stay there by their side living in harmony with its existence. She smiled while she spoke almost silently.



Her reminders like a faithful partner for me to keep "my-self" clean and pure. I guess she was falling in love with my being in here presence. She liked me alot. I saw her smiling more than often.


Those colors, those patterns. The acceptance of the being, of being yet being colorful was reassuring. I wasn't alone after all and I was also in love.




I walked pass some doors and some more. But few doors tell you they are suppose to be for you.



The colors I saw all along taught me the state of stable being. Like the faces that have to be colored yet have the silence of deep Vallie's, that could trigger the ripples of the understanding of one's being.

Rang dey muhjko apney hi rang mein,
rang ley yeah sab, yeah sab tera,
rang dey poora tu zaat ko meri,
rang dey tu saaya bhi mera.

To see the rest of the pictures:http://www.flickr.com/photos/22163965@N04/

Forthcoming!

There are certain set of realizations that a “human” being has at most unexpected times. There are certain actions of us “humans” that define our destiny, but what if the destiny we have is not accepted by the “people”? What would happen if the authenticity of our existence is questioned? What happens when people challenge the validity of our ‘emotions’? Complete ignorance to the existence of humanity. Are people to be blamed? I don’t know. Since I am one of them yet choose to be not like them.

Following this post, would be my first attempt at a short story. A story that tries and search the boundaries and the understanding of the word “humanity” or “simply being human”. My take and understanding of this delicate issue which we consciously or unconsciously decide to ignore, or probably don’t pay enough attention to. This story will look at the issues faced by individuals in the urban scenario. Set in the modern times, when Bangalore is developing and getting flooded by people. Every person is trying to grab and snatch a place for himself, the size doesn’t matter. Would my characters be able to define themselves and their spaces where they belong? I don’t know yet!

A Small Overview of the story:

The story revolves around two protagonists. Their unexpected yet a destined meeting on a bright Sunday morning at a vintage coffee shop called the coffee house in Bangalore. Last night was utterly uncomfortable for both of them. They were faced with questions that challenged the authenticity of their being. Was it so different being them? Was it so difficult to accept them as they were? Was it so disgraceful being them? Weren’t they humans? At least after last night they didn’t feel the same. What would they talk about? Or would they talk at all? what happened the night before? How did it effect both of them?

p.s- Since there are privacy issues involved. I would not be publishing this story on my blog space. I would still love get to know the feedback of my friends from bloggersville. Since all your thoughts would be very important to me. I would request my friends to please mail me their email Id's at prabhjeetsingh.khalsa@gmail.com. All the contact details would be kept completely confidential. I would be sending all of you a PDF format of the final draft. If anyone new enters my blog and is equally interested i would request him/her to mail me their details. I shall get back to you as soon as possible. I have given myself "one month", so if everything goes according to plan i would finish the final draft by this month end or early next month. I hope all you guys would help me out in this endevor.

A part of this story would also take shape on a 'train'. I love travelling by trains. i haven't done that myself in a long time. But i have got a perfect excuse of my holiday this month where i will be off to my hometown, that's delhi! :) for about 15 days. well... sometimes all the signs are right to start off a new chapter! literally!

Un-Dead!

Picture taken at Bandipur wildlife reserve, Karnataka.

Some textures, some shades, some broken pieces left behind to be captured! I just look at them with numbing silence and the derth of life in this frame fasinated me. Almost lifeless, these pieces of wood made some sense.

"The endings, sometimes leaves behind traces to be seen in a very different light. Understanding the evolution and distruction of life might lead to knowledge. But, the acknowledgment of ignorance leads to questioning of the general understanding beyond our general awareness. Search the undead beyond the relms of the undiscovered eternity"

I put some breadcrumbs upon my pillow,
To feed the tiring mind.
I begin to write my dreams again,
In the hopes of turning blind.
I sow some seeds of dislike afresh,
To the past a reckless rewind.

A few steps here and there on the sand,
The lord brands the “me”, the crime.
In the meadows of the stolen human’s paradise,
I build my own, small holy shrine.
For I would be the priest of a circumcised ego,
I shall prepare to look divine.

Pick up your stones and take your aim,
Broken and divided here I stand.
The blistering sun doesn’t shine on me,
Yet my soul seemed so tanned.
Release me from my captivity,
right here! Come, cut this vocal gland.

P.s- no title for this post.. because even i didn't know what was i writing? why was i writing it? what thoughts went along while writing? I am not depressed in life. Infact i am pretty happy but somehow when i read this one back again, i kinda sent shiver's down my spine. why am i writing so much of pain? and agony when i don't intend to. Answer me for i am not able to answer myself.

Surrender

Grab thy soul by the hands,
drag it out to,
face you, the mirror.
what would you ask?
who are you?
how are you?
what are you?
would you have the patience?
to listen,
when it speaks,
speaks out loud,
to tell you,
It hasn’t been you for a while.
would you have the courage?
to defend thy self,
Or,
would you just surrender?
to yourself!

aaj tum jashn manao!

Aao baitho,
Kootein kuch sapney apney,
Gholein apni neeindein unmein,
Chuno, chuno, jo chunnan chaho,
Khattey, meethey, teekhey ya tazey.

Khattey ho to, jhilaaogey,
Meethet hon toh, muskaoogey,
Teekhey hon toh, thoda pani pee lo,
Tazi tazi thodi si duniya jee lo,

Aao ,
Ley aao tum takhtee apni,
Likhein kuch batein unpar hum bhi,
Dikheingey kuch chehrey unpar,
Darna mat, tum unko samjah jaogey.

Dekho ranga hai chehra apna meiney,
Tum bhi thoda rang lo apna,
Chalo jago,
abb chodo sapney,
Chalo utho,
Aaj tum jashn manao!

english translation:

Celebrate your dreams today!
Come, sit,
Let’s mash some dreams,
Mix them up with our sleeps,
Pick, pick up the one you want,
Saur , sweet, spicy or fresh.

Saur if they be, irritated you'd be,
Sweet they be, smiling you'd be,
Spicy they be, here have some water,
Lets us live this fresh, new life.

Come,
Bring along your writing boards,
Let’s write some verses on them,
You would see some faces on them,
Don’t be afraid, you’ll get to know them.

Look, I have painted my face now,
Would you also need some colors?
Wake up,
Let alone those dreams,
Wake up,
For you would celebrate your dreams today.

ek baasa phool

Zindagee ke darakth par,
samay ki dali se latka,
preet ki dhoop mein pakta,
ek baasa* phool,
kuch rota,
kabhi muskuraata,
apney ateet ko sehlaata,
kuch kaanton ko potli mein bandhey,
toot kar gira toh kavi ho gaya.

*baasa - rotten / really old / not fresh

english translation:

A Rotten Fower!

On the tree of life,
hanging upon the branches of time,
ripened by the warmth of love,
a rotten flower.
cries a bit,
smiles sometimes,
caressing the past,
packs some thorns,
fell,
rendered a poet of the self.

p.s- this is something that i haven't done till now. translating my hindi work into english and yet tryinng and attaining the essence of the words. i gave it a try this time since some of my friends from bloggersville are not too fluent in hindi. i don't know how sucessfull am i with this attempt. guess you are the once who can give a feedback. so, this for you all. thanx guys for visiting.
thank's, Deepesh for helping me out.

Musaafir

Door pahari ke uss par,
chupa ek naya soorj,
leke ujaala saath hai,
uski sunehri tashtaree se,
utre kirnon ki boondon ko,
kalahee par rakhkar,
chaat liya tha meiney.

Mehektey pedon ke beech,
tairtey badalon ka jhund,
sehlata sa bas,
kaheen vadee ko dooji,
sarak jata hai jisey ,
ek ehsaas anmol,
narm aur safed.

Ghanee wadiyon mein bikhrey,
woh rang,
saja kar aaram se rakh diye hon,
hare rang, bahut sarey,
unmey ghultey mitee ke,
bhoorey aur santaree rang,
samet liye who nazarey ankon ne.

agla padaav samudra,
khaara, geela aur chanachal,
uski god mein samaa janey ko,
bacchey sa khilkhilata,
galey lag gaya uskey,
har leher par uska mujhko,
dant-tey sa sehlana. Marhaba!

Rastey ko chaltey,
kuch ghar rakhey se,
raat ke andherey mein,
ghultey chaley gaye,
usee mein miltey chaley gaye,
aur hum saanson ko sambhaley,
un lamho mein simtey reh gaye.

Kuch rastey,
bahut khoobsurat hotey hain!
aur kuch log,
Musaafir!

p.s- This piece is a special dedication to the ever so beautifull 'Munnar' and to 'cherai beach' for my weekend trip. It was surreal and honest, hence whatever i have written is very honest. i don't know you would like it or not but i just wanted to write this.

Deja-vu's!!!

Caught amongst,
some drifting dreams,
echoing silence,
of a shallow mind.
it writes again,
writes the deja-vu’s
Deja-vu’s,
of a hollow life.

begin thy journey,
once again,
to the moment.
When it stares,
stares right at you,
again…..

p.s- I happen to have one of 'these' last nite and it freaked me out bigtime. Hence the post.

A Smiling Adieu

It’s time!
time to go,
fly away to eternity,
and beyond.
Zilch fear,
Content,
to walk a path known,
he went away,
far away,
Smiling… :)

R.I.P

Alphonso

She loved them,
Mangoes
Had one last night,
And smiled,
Didn’t taste like before,
Without her first bite
Did she make them sweet?
I know she did.
Its that time now,
The same season,
Without you ‘alphonso’

Arbit Conversation....

The sounds. I hear them. Lets talk.
sip on our thoughts, its cold.
our converstions,
Relaxed.
about, my hunt,
My pray, i tell you.
you it is! :)
and then,
I tore the heart out!

Maverick ... that i am!

I knocked on his door. Like a gracious host he walked me right to his living room. The room was dark ‘I guess’ I couldn’t see much. A candle dipped in saucy chocolate simmered the darkness with a perfect orange glow. Was that the light? I don’t know.

“The knowledge of oblivion can be intimidating and addictive. The lust for loneliness. The thrust for sensual encounters with the psychotic self. To a point that drives the energies insane. The choice to choose, yet choose to be the messenger of the tempter.”

To his alluring and enigmatic glow I got attracted. The feeling of being emotionally dead. When one is really not, creates a delusion of being real. Within those realities you rule as the king, ‘the strong and mighty’.

No matter how ‘human’ the king is, there are always instances when the dictator within him takes over. To loose once self right at that moment creates an imbalance to the souls around.

I created an imbalance. I am very much aware of it. The imbalance of the ‘self soul’ and the souls around. I would blame myself for making certain choices but I am not doing that yet. Just to be fare to myself this time and giving inn a timeout for myself.

Let’s just visit the dark room again. The seat I was sitting on was pretty comfortable. It was buffed leather I suppose. A nice feeling against my skin. He offered me a large mug of black coffee. Perfect, as the way I like it. Strong! Hot! Black! And almost no sugar. It was a bribe in a way to let me know that I was in. I took it. In search of the light I might have walked into the dark gloomy room. But I know I have a light within which will always hold me up. I still was looking for it outside. Why does it always happen? The search for me never ends, like an aimless wonderer I just wondered without a destination.

Sometimes a voice or a hand is all you need to pull one out of the dark room. I am lucky I have some souls around me who love me for who I am. The guilt within is I that don’t love them back. Why? I don’t know. The element of ‘hatred’ has somewhere carved its home within me. I didn’t realize it yet. Not until two nights ago.

SATAN has driven my life for sometime now. “The glossy tempter with his torch”. His company for me has been good or bad? I don’t know. ‘My friends’ tell me that it’s been not. So let me for their love, concern and for myself walk towards the light again and stop chasing my shadow.

few lines from gulzar sahib’s poetry says…

Rosahni… roshani….!!
Ghar jala liya hai!!!
Ghar jala liya hai…
Patjhad ne awaaz di…
Ghar jala liya hai.

The deepest shade of red

The deepest shade of red,
I’m ready to take it to bed,
For all those moments that I have bled,
That deepest shade of red.

Sleep to fly and fly to sleep,
Those moments I swam within deep,
Strangle the self to make me weep,
Ever so long I still feel like a creep,
May be I was scared and fled,
I still want that deepest shade of red.

A song, a rhythm, a desire,
Give me the strength to light the fire,
They make me sore, of which I want more,
Sometime I shall swim myself to the shore,
I can see all my fights in my head,
When I see that deepest shade of red,

Enough’s been done and said,
My lord! Put me to bed,
Would you embrace me when I am dead?
Because I know I will be forever,
That deepest shade of red.

I wrote...

I wrote…
I wrote…
and I wrote some more…..

I wrote my feelings,
wrote my dreams,
wrote my senses,
wrote all my screams,
I kept on writing forever it seems.

I wrote my body,
wrote my skin,
wrote my desires,
wrote all my sins,
I kept on writing the song I sing.

I wrote my questions,
wrote my doubts,
wrote my worries,
wrote all my bouts,
I kept on writing my gut out.

and then,
I wrote…
I wrote….
and I wrote some more.

..........

i wrote some more
to feel the roar
out of the pen's core

i still wrote more
hoping my heart will question no more
couldn't help that cause but my fingers sore

I then realized
the more I seek for more
will trouble me the more

so i left it for a cause
pain is best eased when I pause
but my love for pain grew to shore
that I again wrote some more !!

my work was incomplete... I intended it to be.... may be because after a point i was unable to connect the dots together. Then came along this marvelous and humble guy, who i shud mention doesn't kno "how to write poetry". Such a 'Cliché' for a guy with his talents and potential. He simply connected my random thoughts with perfect sense. Depesh, I don't have words to thank you so i will not even attempt. This is my tribute to you. Its an Honor to have your words on my insignificant rambeling space.

kabhi kabhi.... yoon sufi sa mein!

Kabhi kabhi yeah kyon lagta hai?
Ki mein sufi ho jaoon.
Dhoondhoon kaheen par khudaa ko apney,
Ramtaa sa basanti jogi ho jaoon.
Yeah parbat mere, waadi sab meri,
Inmein kaheen mein kho jaoon.
Behtaa rahoon saath uss rooh ke,
Aawaara sa baadal ho jaoon.
Bandhan rokein, dantein aur tokein,
Kaisey inko samjhaoon?
Zaat nahee koi bandhegi mujhpar,
Chaoon bas khud dhaaga ho jaoon.
Rahey na mera mujhmein kuchbhi,
Mein khaali ho jaoon.
Rachtaa, rakhtaa har zarrey mein basta,
Kuch dhokey sa ho jaoon.
Dhoya hai khud ko khudee par kab se,
Chaoon bas aab halkaa ho jaoon.
Kabhi kabhi bas yoon lagta hai,
Ki mein sufi ho jaoon.

Ek Banjaaran

Naram saundee se kuch hawaoo mein,
Barish ki boondon ko amber se utartey dekha,
Usi barish mein sadak kinarey bastee,
Ek banjaran ko ujadtey, kuch ukhadtey dekha.

Uskey haathon se janmee murat ke rangon ko,
Baarsih ke pheekey panee ko rangeen sa kartey dekha,
Aanchal ki silvaton mein liptey uskey bacchey ka chehra,
Kuch aansuon se kuch paani ki boondon se bheegtey dekha,

Dekha usko aapna pallu hatatey,
Baarish se bhidtee us akeli rani jaansee ko dekha,
Dekha meiney uska ghar bikhartey aur phir simattey,
Uskey cherey ko hotey patthar sa meinn dekha,

Plastic ke lifaphey mein usko kuch lapettey dekha,
Uski mamta ko har chin meiney badtey sa dekha,
Baarish se hotee uskee ladaii ko meiny dekha,
Khud ko hotey bebas laachaar sa meiney dekha,

Aansoo nahee they uske aankhon mein kaheen bhi,
Uski khudaaree ko meiny chattan sa sakth dekha,
Sar jhukaa uss maa, uss jananee ke aagey,
Uski parchaaee mein kaheen bastey sacchey khuda ko dekha.

A complete 'Zero'

Past few days I have been stuck up with the number zero. Have been thinking about the importance of this number. Placed right between the positive and negative numerals it symbolises neutrality all by itself, both ends lying on either side. Its like the number knows the art of balancing and yet shifting to create meanings for the positive’s or negatives. Symbolised by a circle, ‘zero’ signifies Balance, stability and symmetry, a beginning of a never ending journey around a locus. ‘Zero’ is complete in it self. Put a negative sign or a positive sign in front. The end result zero again. The more the number of zero’s behind a number the more becomes the value of that number itself. Imagine a life without zeros. Can you?

Yet we entitle a person who’s failed with being a ‘ZERO’. WHY?

To, wish!

An evening split into pieces,
An hour at a time to belong,
Belonging to one then to the other,
A deep void inside for belonging to the self.

Carrying yet dragging,
To the shores of uncertain future,
A gift for my imaginary humanity,
My blood, my flesh, my soul.

My perpetual dreams,
Amalgamating with my desires,
A brilliant ray of gold across the skyline,
Like a brushstroke made in haste.

To the wishes I burry today,
And for all those I have buried already,
I shall awake to your wishes too some day,
Oh! My wish, tell me what you wish for.

jeena udhaar

Katee chatee si koi aahat,
Udhaar mili thodee raahat,
Hooton pe padee muskuraahat,
Ek admaree si chaahat.

Naram garam se kuch alfaaz,
Pehney akalmandee ka libbas,
Kamptee si ungaliyon mein,
Kuch shaayraana andaaz.

Taraashey huye kaagazon pey,
Tapaktey se kinhee kono sey,
Zindagee sa kuch kartey bayaan,
Hotey sey yeah kuch meharbaan.

Baandhey zindage potalee si,
Kuch ehsaason ki oodhanee si,
Kuch gaanthein lee utaar,
Jeeney ka bhi chukaa deingey udhaar.

Witness the storm chasers

Chasing storm's he said "it feels like being alive, when you are in so much of danger".
Walking on a volcano alive, he said "life's an adventure, live it."
Looking into a deep stormy night he romanced with the violent winds "Its going to be very very noisy and very very violent" he flirted knowingly
"AWESOME!!!!" is what he said and walked right into it.



P.S - this was one of the discovery channel brilliance i was able to witness. Obviously being high (not 'high on life kinds' but the alcoholic sorts) makes me extra sensitive to such words. The only disappointment was that i caught this episode few minutes before it was about to finish. I am sure i would catch up with this series to see 'the man' again.

mujhee ko mujhko lautaa jaoo

Rooko na mujhey,
Paagal hoon mein,
Bhar raha hai kuch zakhm,
Shaayad ghaayal hoon mein,
Usee jaat ki tooti si pattee mein liptaa,
Sang hawaaon ke udtaa hoon mein.

Katee katee si kuch batein,
Kyon abb bhi chubh rahee hain mujhey?
Tumharey tootey chasmein ko dekha kal phir,
Wheen rakhaa hai jahaan padaa hoon mein.
Kahaa tha dhoond logi agar gum gaya kaheen toh,
Kahaan hoo aab? Dhoondo mujhko, gum gaya hoon mein.

Aao ley jaoo wahee sab saamaan jo tumhara hai,
Wohi toota chasma, wohi adoori tasveer,
Wohi khat jo bataney ko kuch likha tha mujhko,
Wohi tasveer tumhari, wohi tumhari yaad,
Ley jaao who sabkuch sood sameet waapas,
Bas mujhee ko mujhko lautaa jaoo.

search me as a "whole"!!

In search of meaning I played with the world,
Travelling across the muddy roads of my thoughts,
Every step made me wonder if I would make it,
A soft sound of my conscious guiding with a lamp to see,
I fought sometimes with myself,
Defending sometimes the path that I chose to thee.

Confusions so unclear within themselves,
I fail to understand the questions that I seek,
Untouched, unheard, unwanted some feelings stay afloat,
I painted my own direction boards and followed them to ‘me’,
Am I walking in circles? I ask,
Where’s the light that’s suppose to guide me?

The old man touched my head in prayer yesterday,
Gave me a moment of silence and peace,
May be I pretend to search for a bigger truth,
The truth that defines me,
But the happiness that I knit together
Are from the little moments I live to see.

Search my meaning,
Search my soul,
Search my “myself”,
Search my “goal”,
Try and search me,
And search me as a “whole”

The old man

“A happy day would have its moments of sadness too.”

Yesterday was no different. A Play at Ranga shankara. An Auto Ride. A cup of black caffeine with grilled chicken sandwich. A pitcher of chilled beer. A rocker of a night at opus lounge. Right in-between was this old man!

I always have had this bad habit of walking fast even if I am with friends. They usually chat up and lag behind. Walking on Brigade road in Bangalore at 7:30 can be quiet a daunting task. But still, right before the junction my eyes met with this old man. He said something to me but I couldn’t hear what he said. So, I bent down closer to his mouth to understand his words. Very politely he said “sir, do you know English?” His voice was very soft and mellow like the 72 years had brushed and polished it over and over again.

I knew exactly what he was going to ask me. But this time I didn’t mind. I saw the ‘honest pain’ in his eyes. Indeed I did. It was disturbing. A man of that age inching his way through the ‘restless mob of senseless and careless party Hoppers’ and no one notices him. I use the word shameful here and I feel I am still being polite. He was in need of help all I did was ‘help’ him in whatever small way I could. I just asked him to bless me and my friends in return. His old hands lifted in prayer for us and touched our heads one at a time. It’s been long that I had felt such relief and silence in my head. I knew he blessed all of us. He was dignified, honest and humble. His story kind of affected me in a strange way. I somehow could understand all his pain but felt completely helpless because I couldn’t help him more.

The realisation of how heartless can people be is something that really bothers me a lot. Everyone is lost in their own worries and sorrows. When was the last time we made someone smile? Remember? Remember the happiness that you got in return making that person smile. I believe that I am the devil yet I understand the pain of a human being, why can’t other humans do the same?

"Where the mind is without fear....!!"

Much has been said and done with the recent controversy sparked in “Mumbai” about “NORTH INDIANS” being unwelcome and targeted in the financial capital of India. I was watching NDTV while getting ready for my office this morning. A report on how a bunch of school children have written a letter to Raj Thakrey requesting him to stop dividing Mumbai and India itself, which they are couriering to the man in the “cheap lime light”. I was honestly surprised by the awareness in the younger generation today. It was a pleasant one. Our future rests secure in such hands.

But what caught my attention was the reporter ending the report with these lines from Rabindra nath Tagore “Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;”

This was my school prayer which I use to dread attending every afternoon during our lunch interval. I simply didn’t understand the meaning behind those lines. Today I just remembered each and every word from the same. I understood the meaning today itself. Also, how important it is to have as a prayer. I think the Indian Governing structure should tape these lines (Since most of the politicians are illiterate) and ask each politician to memorise it before venturing into politics. “A political must” or “The eligibility criteria”. May be then they would understand that India was envisioned not as a country but as a religion, a way of living, living the way of freedom and democracy. I am not writing this to be preachy neither do I have any political ambitions myself. Just wanted to share this simple yet appropriate composition by Rabindra nath tagore. So that whoever reads it should at least give a thought of keeping India ONE! This could do good for Raj in specific.

“Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;

Where knowledge is free;

Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;

Where words come out from the depth of truth;

Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the

dreary desert sand of dead habit;

Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action--

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.”



Father, also let my contrymen awake...... 

ART

"Abhivyakti ki kushalshakti hi toh kalaa hai.....!!!"

- Saket - Maithali Sharan Gupt


"The perfection of expression is ART itself....!!!"

This is the closest I could get to interpreting hindi to english keeping the thought of the writer intact in one line.

Ek akela valentine

Ek akela valientine day,
Mere saath baitha hai,
Naaraaz hai mujhsey,
Par kuch kehney lag raha hai.
Nakrey sambhaloon kaisey mein uskey?
Badaa masoom dikh raha hai.
Batata hai mujhko woh pyar wali batein,
Thag lega mujhko bada chaalak lag raha
Ek akela valentine day,
Saath hi mein khada hai.

Aaya hoon ek din ko,
Yeah tanaa dey raha hai.
Kehta hai dheeth ho kitney,
Kyon ho tum aisey? Yeah batlaa raha hai.
Pagala hai yeah khud bhi,
Mujhsey bhidh raha hai.
Karney do isko aapni marzee,
Badmaash yeah bada hai.
Samheyga thak kar khud he,
Yeah mera aapna aaena hai.
Ek akela valentine day,
Saath hi mein khada hai.

Bataaon kya isko mein aapni kahani,
Jaanta hai khud bhi par bhola ban raha hai.
Milaa hoon ussey 5 baar saath kisi key,
Who haath hai kahaan? Mujhsey poochta hai.
Tum hi bataoo, bataoon kya usko?
Jawaab hai yeah bhaari,
kyon akela usko kar diya hai?
chedeyga muhjko thoda aaj hi,
karney do jo kar raha hai.
hans kar mein miloonga ussey,
kyonki akela who bhi pad gaya hai

tootey toh roye,
bikraa sa hoye,
hastaa khada hoon,
mein zid pey adaa hoon,
kyon atkee hain saansein?
taney deti hain aahein,
bas sunn ho raha hoon,
dekho,
mein gum ho raha hoon.

mein kya cheez

lo sajaa lo toh mujhko,
mein sach dikh raha hoon.
khareedogey mujhko?
lo mein khud bik raha hoon.
sasta hoon, hansta hoon,
kaheen par bhi basta hoon.
yoon rasta kato na mera,
mein khuda ho raha hoon.

lo hatalo tum khudhee,
mujhee ko hatalo,
maro toh dhakka,
lo sabhi shiqwe gira do.
bas lafzon mein lapetee,
meri inn baton ko rakh lo.
kagaz ke panno mein,
dabaa kar inhein dhak lo.
hata lo yeah aankein,
mein gum ho raha hoon.
sambhalogey kya mujhko?
lo mein tum ho raha hoon.

ghar ki deewaron ke paar

guroor mein na janey hum kya kiya kartey hain,
ghar ki deewaron ke paar rishtey tatola kartey hain,
ghatey se, phatey se, ghistey se jiya kartey hain,
girtey giratey, phir bhi har baar uthtey woh haath raha waheen kartey hain.

kattha hai ghar har jakhm par, deewarein choya kartey hain,
libaas odhey har gumaan ka khudhee ko thapeda kartey hain,
uudh jayeingey har baadal ke paar, yehi umeed udaya kartey hain,
dekho, pakdo, sambhalo usko, hum ko, hum sabko,
ghar ki deewaron ke paar rishtey tatola kartey hain.

hato hataoo, uthaoo usko, hum sab ko,
tamachey kuch toh lagaoo hum sab ko,
utho uthaao, thoda sa jag jaoo,
karwatein kuch toh odahoo mujhko,
soo loon thoda thakney wala hoon shayad,
jag jaoonga kuch lamjhon mein thahro,
uthoonga apney hi bistar apney hi ghar mein,
Kyonki neend bhi waheen aati hai.

Ek savera

Subah ki pehli kiran ka meri aankon ke darwazey par dastak.
Aaj ka ujaala bhi kuch accha hoga, accha hi hoga na?
Phir daudtey se log dikney lageingey, phir koi naya silsila hoga.
Bichaa doonga taat sa khud ko phir sabkey saamney,
Phir shaayad kisi mathey ka ghar mera kaandha hoga.

Pichlee raat phir kinhi jabzbaaton ko udhela kisi ne mujhpar,
Sochta hoon uska ujaala aaj kaisa hoga? Dua hai meri ki accha hoga.
Mere kurtey ka kona atka kisi ki soch ki kundi par, chudaaoon usko?
Ki kaheen na kaheen mera daaman bhi phata hoga.
Udhadtey se mere kapdon mein se koi zakham dikh gaya hoga.

Pallu odey ek suhagan ka sringaar karta sa ujala,
Kisi beva ki bhi maang bharta hoga, rang sunehri uspar rangta hoga.
Choom loonga har dard, har gam ke honton ko jabran joothi moothi.
Dar unko bhi mujhsey thoda toh lagta hoga.
Honsley mein mere issee ujaala bhi ram gaya hoga, mujhmey hi gum gaya hoga.

Playing with my madness!!

Intoxicated on speed

From the moment I turn on the ignition of a car I am transcended into another world. The sound of a running engine is fascinating every single time I take on the wheels. A good habit nurtured since my early days of driving is to wear a seat belt. It’s like the belt hugs you tenderly besides the seat reassuring safety. It’s a nice cosy feeling for me. First few seconds inside a car just before the wheels go for a spin.

The first gear is like a soft yet aggressively timed push towards 4500 RPM. The second gear, more reassured drags to kiss 5000 RPM. The engine begins to yawn a bit. The third Shift – my favourite, opens the vocal chords of the engine and like a lion it roars louder by every passing notch on the RPM meter smoothly shaking hands with 6000 RPM. Now the ride becomes intoxicating. The fourth shift where I flirt with danger. 6500 RPM not even bothered to look at the speedometer. Final shift, my licence to freedom. Obnoxiously fast yet cruising serenity is what I feel within me. For the shortest span of time I have a glimpse at the speedometer. It proudly boasts and displays out loud the job that it’s cut out for. Its loud silence! It’s silent to the world outside. Yet a playground for my thoughts. All those moments of pure speed has been intoxicating for past 7 years. My intoxication of speed gives me peace that I shall always seek.