The Perfect Inspiration; Missed

You can’t really call me a movie buff, but i managed to sit through one today. Not because i wanted to watch one! But because i am still waiting for a school friend who leaving for Gurgaon tomorrow for good and chooses to ditch me for some cute chicks over a movie (which by the way he got his way into due to his exceptional emotional blackmailing skills which never worked on me) and his “spiritual commitments”. If i sound like i am complaining, I am not. Why? Because he invited me but i declined (note: for the “spiritual commitment”)

So why am i writing this? Simply put, three reasons:: A cup of coffee, My camera & A beautiful woman. If the aww’s have started already i would stop you right here. There’s alot of aww-ing masala still to come up.

Well, watching a movie alone sometimes for lack of better work kind of makes you concentrate a little more on the subject. Now you must be wondering which is this amazing movie that has “inspired” me to write this chick flick? Sorry to disappoint you but its “wake up sid”. Yeah the Ranbeer Kapoor and Konkana Sen starrer flick. NO NO i am not going to review the movie! But talk about something on more of an intangible level.

To begin with all the three reasons “the coffee”, “the camera” and “the beautiful woman” were there in the movie. Which i am hoping would get by as my first argument. But, what got me thinking was the Article the character of Aish a.k.a Konkona Sen writes for Ranbeer Kapoor in the magazine they work together in (And i have forgotten the name of the magazine, I am amazed at my capability of forgetting names. Even the once I saw a few minutes back, anyways). The Article sums up her Desires, Ambitions, Inhibitions, insecurities and elations during her 3 month stay in the big city of Mumbai. How she lands up getting a companion in her journey to persue her dreams in the big city. How by the simplest virtue of companionship these characters fell in love and how she fell in love with the city of Mumbai.

The story kind of got me thinking about the past 8 years i have managed to spend in the city of Namma Bangaluru or for Angrez people the city of Bangalore. I started thinking about the first day my parents left me to become a man from a boy. How scared i was each and every day sleeping alone in my small yet cozy 1 room apartment (since i never wanted to stay in a hostel, for obvious reasons which only men will identify with). It reminded me of the first time I tasted my freedom. My first ‘real’ relationship. My first college assignment. My first heart break. My first Bangalore monsoon. The first time i experienced the loss of someone really precious and how I couldn’t even cry because I had to be strong then. My first Job. My first ‘real break-up’. My first ‘real’ struggle to survive and the decision to be strong. The city of Bangalore gave me alot of ‘firsts’ in my life to experience. In short she’s transformed me from a Boy to a Man. No wonder I can’t leave this place. That’s because in alot of ways she’s made grow up and fall in love with her every passing second. She’s also given me something even more beautiful ‘A companion’.

(This is where the Awww-ing part begins... so gear up!)

My girlfriend (for the lack of a better word) General Sana i call her! That’s because i have no choice but to listen to her orders and obey like a newly recruited soldier. Or to draw a parallel analogy My Master! Why do i call her my master? Well, I truly believe that every committed man consciously or subconsciously get into a ‘perpetual state of tommy-ness’ (yes-yes like ‘bhow! Bhow!’ tommy) once he’s under the spell of his woman. I am shameless and accept being tamed for the better. But the truth is that i have grown to love being tamed. It makes me feel special, loved and taken care off!! Which for quite some time was an alien feeling for me. This is something that not every girl or girlfriend can make you feel. But something only a companion can make you feel! That’s what she’s been to me “My Companion”.
Now, My camera:: Bought in arrogance yet never put to use for the lack of ‘creative inspiration’ ( A term all so called creative people loosely use for laziness). I have hardly clicked and have been itching for that eureka moment that would have given me the spark i have been looking for to take off. But ‘the movie’ made me realise that i just missed that moment few hours back.

Me and my girl meet once or twice a week if we are lucky (Thanks to the deadly combination of a Gabbar Singh league father and Hitler Ammi that my girl has). Anyhow, we were scheduled to meet for a cup of coffee today evening in Barista. For a change I reached early today and was waiting for her and a common friend (who’s our savior; because of whom I get to meet her. Thanks Hiral!). The moment i saw her walking upto the cafe I was left breathless. There was something about her today that made her look so beautiful (But me being a male chauvinist, i didn’t let it show on my face). She was glowing today (I could be the reason; but i am only speculating here). The Bangalore rains added to her beauty somehow today. Every time she rested her head on my shoulder it made me skip few heartbeats. I was stealing glances from the corner of my eye in disbelief that I really have her. I realized today how lucky i am to have her. And I thank the almighty and Bangalore for it.

The only regret i have today is not carrying my camera. How i wish i had it then i could have captured her beauty the way i saw it today, may be for the first time. How I wish i could tell her what she means to me. How I wish I could have just frozen those moments in time. How i wish i hadn’t ‘missed the perfect inspiration’ i had been looking for, for a very long time!